


A Want, A Need

by MissytheAngle



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Or romantic if you desire and/or squint, Post Crack the Whip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 04:11:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7669597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissytheAngle/pseuds/MissytheAngle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peridot sits outside the barn, playing with her telekinesis, of course. She's alone on a quiet, starry night. Then with a flash from the warp pad, she receives a visitor. A broken looking visitor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Want, A Need

**Author's Note:**

> Crack the Whip hurt. I needed to vent. Amedot helps. Not necessarily romantic but well, you can definitely imply it (like I did nyeheh)
> 
> I couldn't finish this before Steven Vs. Amethyst but WHO FREAKING CARES!? Basically, ignore that episode when reading this!! Also, someone else posted theirs right before me and I can't help but laugh (lol, theirs is tons better, go read that one). WE ALL NEEDED TO VENT ABOUT THAT EPISODE SO BAD.
> 
> Also, def. not properly edited. I'm sorry ;-;

Lapis had vanished sometime in the middle of the night. Peridot took the opportunity to step outside, waving the spoons in the air sporadically.

She started laughing to herself. Having time to herself meant she got to experiment with all of these tricks, with different pieces of equipment and fools. She attempted to show this off to Lapis… after having to listen to what she dealt with earlier that day…

But that was several days ago. Right now, Lapis was away, content spending time by her lonesome. Peridot understood the sentiment. 

It was a pretty night. The stars looked bright, and Peridot wondered if any of these contained a planet off of Homeworld’s galaxy. They looked so far away, which made Peridot feel so much smaller. She pulled her knees to her chest as she distracted herself with the spoons. 

There was a flash behind her, followed by a whooshing sound. She was surprised considering the Gems did not come around often. Turning around, Peridot saw it was Amethyst,  and suddenly, having a night to herself wasn't quite what she desired anymore.

“Ooh, ooh! Amethyst!” Peridot’s excitement peaked, and she nearly tripped as she stood and ran toward her.  

With Amethyst’s head down, Peridot couldn’t really get a good look at her face. Peridot approached her, fingers still pointed in the air, with the spoons following beside her, clanking as they bumped into each other. 

“You should see this new trick I can do! It’s pretty neat-o, as you might say,” Peridot stated, shooting her a wide grin. With a small Peridot laugh (“Nyeheh”), she started twirling her fingers until the ten spoons took shape of a perfect star formation. It spun midair. “By the way, don’t ask where I found all the spoons. Oh, and if you’re looking for some from your little base, well—”

Peridot turned her gaze from the star-shaped spoons back to Amethyst, to see how she reacted to the trick she was displaying. Now that she got a good look at Amethyst, however, she noticed something. She tilted her head.

“You changed your wardrobe.” It was more of a statement. A confused statement. “Why?”

Amethyst flinched, as if stung. Peridot’s face fell, a small blush reaching her cheeks. “Not that this one isn’t suiting. The change is just… sudden.” 

“We ran into Jasper,” was Amethyst’s response, barely audible in her low octave. 

Peridot recoiled with a deep set grimace.

Her _again_.

Peridot’s assistance had been required just a few days ago. From Lapis, who returned to the barn with a dark shadow across her face, like she had returned from a brutal battle. Based on the details, it wasn’t an impossible thought. It took some time, but Lapis eventually went into detail over the event, and now, somehow, hearing her name only made her feel more angry than before. 

“Jasper,” Peridot said, the name bitter on her tongue. “Ugh, every time someone mentions her, she somehow gets more annoying. It just reminds me of our travel to Earth. Not an enjoyable trip, if you need to know. I won't spare you the details.” She noticed Amethyst wasn’t really responding, and had an urge to get something out of her. Perhaps a laugh, because Peridot always smiled when she made Amethyst laugh. “Though I believe a trip with you would’ve been far different—a better different, to clarify. It probably wouldn’t have felt like a hundred years.”

Amethyst nodded. But not a laugh, not even a smile! Peridot was growing suspicious.

“That still doesn’t answer the question about your clothes, though.”

Amethyst shot her an incredulous look. “Don’t you know about poofing?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Poofing?” Peridot said the word slowly, taking it in for the first time. She thought it over for a moment, however, and a light bulb brightened. She snorted. “Isn't that what you clods call being forced back into your gem?” She rolled her eyes. "You Crystal Gems and your simplistic terms." 

Amethyst just hung her head again.

More silence.

Oh.

The spoons fell to the ground in a small mess of silver. 

Peridot’s head leaned closer to Amethyst’s face. And it was now that she _really_ looked at the Quartz’s facial features.

Lost of that confident, cool, and laid back attitude that practically exemplified. Instead, standing before her was a struggling, more broken Amethyst, teeth gritted as if she were fighting back tears. Nothing masking her pain, she looked so… small. And throughout Amethyst’s visit, Peridot could not get Amethyst to look directly at her, as if Amethyst simply _could not bring herself to_. Like she was ashamed.

“What happened?” Peridot's voice lowered, hands reaching out but not quite taking hold of Amethyst. 

Peridot finally noticed the bags under Amethyst's eyes. Amethyst's eyebrows narrowed, and she faced Peridot with a sharp glare. “I lost, okay?! I tried to fight Jasper, but I couldn’t get a single hit on her.” She tossed out a dead laugh into the air. “It was totally pathetic, too! Ugh, once Garnet and Pearl find out…” A large hand rubbed against her face. “They’ll never let me hear the end of it. 'You could try training more for next time, you should’ve focused harder or… something'.” With a shake of her head, Amethyst turned away again, giving the ground a hard kick and sending some dirt into the air in frustration.

Peridot waited for her to finish, hands awkwardly clasped in front of her chest. “I’m not surprised.”

“Why, ‘cause I’m a joke?” Amethyst’s voice shook.

Peridot noted that she wasn’t mad over the statement, but rather that she didn’t react much aside from the change in her voice. Barely moved, still failed to look at her for longer than a few moments. A sudden urge to find Jasper arrived in the pit of her gut, but she pushed it away when she realized that that was not the greatest of ideas at the moment. Not when all she could do was throw spoons at her.

“That’s not it.” Peridot stepped forward. “She fought in the Gem War, as a soldier! And soldiers have to go through rigorous training just to stay alive. She has far more experience out in the field than you possibly could. And she’s a Homeworld Quartz, and they train ruthlessly. It's not because you're weak or anything." 

 Amethyst didn't say anything, or even worse, she ignored her. Peridot's eyebrows curved in concern. 

“Are you… going to be okay?”

She cringed at the question that she knew was not the best to ask of at the moment. But she knew a second too late. 

Amethyst snorted out a dry laugh, one severely lacking in humor. “Just wonderful, of course! I only got the snot beat outta me by a gem that kept telling me that I was just a joke, that I’m nothing more than a stupid runt of a Quartz. And she's this... tougher and taller version of me, so all I can think about is what I could be, that I _should've_ been like her. But yeah, I’ll be okay. Totally!” The sarcasm was impossible to miss.

Peridot’s hands curled into fists. Neither gem acknowledged this.

“So what if Jasper is a ‘taller Quartz’?” Peridot added air quotes for the last two words, rolling her eyes as well. “That doesn’t make you, well, not a Quartz! ‘Cause you are one.”

“Except it totally does.” Amethyst’s voice quieted, with a lifeless tone as she peered down at the ground. “I’m weaker and smaller, and I couldn’t even land a single blow on her. She was right.”

The defeat in her voice, the cracks in that last sentence, made Peridot look toward the warp, wishing she could somehow find Jasper and set things right... whatever that would be. Already, she had plenty of things to say to her ex-escort. But with Amethyst looking as if she were to burst into tears any second now, Jasper was not a top concern. 

Amethyst's words repeated over in Peridot's head, and she blinked. "So you couldn't beat Jasper. She's a warrior from the Gem War a long time ago. What's so wrong with being smaller?" She looked down at the fallen spoons, then used her telekinesis to pick them back up, letting them drift and hover midair. "You told me that you liked me for being me. That isn't any different for you! The Crystal Gems all care about you because you're, well, you."

She paused, rubbing her thumbs nervously.  _I care about you, too. A lot,_  she thought, but the words got stuck in her throat. 

"But you were supposed to be made the way you are," Amethyst pointed out. "Me? I was made _wrong._ I feel like a failure… like I’m just useless to everyone around me!” Amethyst clutched the fabric of her white shirt that covered part of her gem, gripped it tight in her trembling fingers. "Steven and Connie took care of Jasper, no problem. They didn't need me. They _don't_ need me. I couldn't help them at all, so what am I?" Her voice rose, still quivering and cracking. She tossed her head up, her eyes meeting with Peridot's. Tears appeared at the edges of her eyes, thick and messy as they dropped down her cheeks. "Just a waste of everyone's time?!" 

Amethyst shut her eyes and whirled her body to the side, turning away from Peridot. And her arms started shaking as they wrapped around her waist.  

Peridot stood there for a few short moments, taking everything in.  

Peridot was not a gem who initiated contact. However, she also was previously not a gem who would've found Earth to be a pleasant place to reside in. Or a gem who would become best friends with a Quartz who she thought to be defective. Now, not only did said Quartz need her, but she thought back to the words she said to Amethyst about her and her smaller form, thinking it was all in fun. Now with the truth out, Peridot felt a sinking feeling inside her, guilt that bubbled and made her hate her own words.

And it was as she noticed the sobs escaping Amethyst's throat and the tears that slipped to the grass that Peridot stepped forward, the spoons falling to the ground again. With Amethyst unaware, she stood in front of the Quartz and wrapped her arms around Amethyst. Amethyst flinched in her grasp, as if shocked, but Peridot did not pull away. Her hands vanished within Amethyst's giant hair, firmly pressed against her back as she left her chin sit on Amethyst's shoulder. There was a moment of hesitation. 

Peridot felt large arms tighten around her waist, pulling her closer into Amethyst. Amethyst's crying was now more audible, louder as she no longer could hold back her tears. Peridot could feel teardrops land on her shoulder, but didn't move away. Amethyst's hands clutched against the fabric of Peridot's clothing, and she buried herself into the green gem's shoulder. The two stood there underneath the dark sky, holding one another as one cried and the other let Amethyst release all her emotions into her shoulder. Peridot couldn't deny that she was the slightest bit uncomfortable, but this was mostly due to her having  _no idea_ what to say next. Comforting wasn't her forte, either, and comforting Lapis had proven difficult, even if Lapis stated that she appreciated the help.

What if she said something wrong? What if she made Amethyst cry harder? She would hate herself for upsetting her friend again, especially in a moment like this. 

After a minute, Peridot sighed, and said the first thing that came to her head. 

“And if it helps, I need you.”

Amethyst’s body froze against hers, the sobs gradually lessening. Another pause. “I doubt that."

"I wouldn't like not having you around. You're not a waste of time to me. If anything, you make my time better!" Peridot exclaimed, grinning a little lopsidedly. 

"Even if I'm a total screwup?" Amethyst murmured into her ear, her voice small. 

"Doesn't that make you better, though? Yes, you have to deal with... some difficulties, but you always beat them. That's awfully impressive, and it makes you tougher because of that, doesn't it?" Peridot shot a quick look at her. "By learning, you become a better version of yourself. That's how you and the Crystal Gems helped me understand it."

Amethyst was quiet again, but Peridot decided to continue.

“Plus, if you weren’t around, I’m pretty sure I would not be as tolerant of you gems.”

Amethyst gave her a weird look. “Seriously?”

“Besides Steven, of course. They're not as fun to talk with," Peridot explained. She smiled, but it faded after another thought crossed her mind. "You are someone who helped me understand that being who I am isn't that bad, even if I'm... different from the other Peridots in the previous Era." She turned her head to meet Amethyst's tear-stained gaze. "Also, metal powers! How rad is that?" She said 'rad' while trying to mimic Amethyst's disposition. Deep down, she was excited to discover this... all because of Amethyst. It was almost always Amethyst, alongside the Crystal Gems, that drove her in the proper direction to becoming better.

Amethyst’s laugh, even if it was low and barely audible, felt like music to Peridot’s ears. Gorgeous music that she could sing it. "Totally rad," Amethyst agreed. 

She squeezed her hold on Amethyst a little. "And you're different from Jasper... but she's lame anyway." She scoffed. "You wouldn't want to be like her, trust me. You're _so_ much better than that jerk." She shook her head. "So much better." 

Amethyst made a small noise in the back of her throat, but it was better than nothing. They were quiet for a moment, and Amethyst finally pulled away. Peridot already missed the warmth that resided when she hugged Amethyst. 

"Thanks. I, uh, kinda needed to hear all that." Amethyst rubbed her arm. 

"But of course. You're... always welcome to visit and... talk about things. Though I'm not sure how much I can help," Peridot admitted, her toes digging into the grass. 

Amethyst's arm brushed in front of her face. "You helped plenty, trust me," she said with a small, awkward chuckle. She glanced at the spoons, which were abandoned on the ground again, and she pointed. “Wanna, uh, show me that trick again?” She grinned weakly. “I bet you practiced a lot, since you don't seem to be all that busy."

Peridot snickered. "You bet I do. Though Lazuli doesn't think they're _that_ cool."

"Shame. It's pretty impressive."  

Amethyst leaned against Peridot as they sat under the night sky, while Peridot showed the gem that meant everything to her some new tricks, just something to distract her from what was bothering her in the back of her mind. She couldn't  _fix_ everything, but it was a start. 

**Author's Note:**

> Aka I wanted this to happen pls help Amethyst. Again, nothing romantic, but let's be real... why else would she go to visit Peridot after that whole thing? *wink wink nudge nudge*
> 
> Also, note to self: Missy, please stop writing about these two sitting under the stars. It's going to get old, if not already so XD
> 
> EDIT: Just decided to clean through a bit of this just for any big errors that I came across. I swear, some ways I write sentences are so awkward. Then again, that's how I am in real life, so it fits.


End file.
